Ever Fell Like This

I know I have!

Last night after coming home from the store I told my mother something about the stars. That line got me started on a poem. That poem turned into a story. Its not done, mind you, but I like it very much. Tell me what you think.

I have noticed, recently, that the skys have been bright with many stars. And your eyes have become dark as the night. The feeling of terror over comes me as I run down the banquet hall. The blood rushes through my veins and my heart pounds faster and faster with every step. The cool winters air flows through the open windows as I throw the bedroom door ajar. Searching for a weapon of sorts, I hear your foot steps move closer and closer. I run to the window in the back. I turn to face you and as our eyes meet, I jump. I feel myself free fall for what feels like forever until my body slams into the hard ground. I lay there, unable to move for I don't know how long until I hear the front door slam shut behind you. I crawl to my feet, my head pounding as I try to run. My face filled with tears, I race to the black forest just as the bright sky begins to rain. The earth is quiet for a moment with the only sound being my beating heart and the pitter patter of rain drops hitting the many branches of this black forest. I tuck behind a tree and try to catch my breath. The crunching of the leaves under your heavy feet sound so distant. I start to drift off uncontrollably. My eyes grow heavy and I can feel my body slumping to the floor. I wake to the sound of you calling my name. Through the darkness of the trees I can see your body moving closer. I can hardly make out the face, but I know its you. In your hand is a sharp, heavy axe used to cut wood long ago. That image...your body slowly moving towards me, axe in hand, began to burn itself inside my brain. With a deep breath I lift myself off the broken leaves and branches. I spot a light out in the distances and I try to make my way to it. Your gaining on me with ease for no matter how fast I run your always faster. The lights so close now and if I could only make it just a bit further I know I could.... The world is blurry as I slowly open the lids to my eyes. My head is spinning as I try to move. Blood is running down my face and into my mouth. Theres a sound I can make out in the distance. As I begin to come to I find that my body is tightly tied to the trunk of a very large tree. I frantically look around only to find you, digging a very large hole. Your axe lay before me covered in mud. I search my body for cuts only to find a small gash in my head. Not from the axe...from a rock which lay next to me now.



Thats all I have so far. I wrote the last bit which starts "with a deep breath" just now.

The Whitest Kids U Know

About a year ago a friend of mine showed me a video clip from a tv show I had never heard of before. Back then I didn't really think he had much taste in things because...well, because I heard the kind of music he listened to. Since then he has shown me a bunch of stuff that I have grown to love. For example, he was the first person to show my Flight of the Conchords, and now thats one of my favorite shows. At any rate I saw the name of the show in my tv guide about two weeks ago and I started to record it. This show is amazing! It has me rolling on the floor at every turn. Its uncensored and uncut and simply amazing. It airs on Sundays on IFC. There are so many reasons to watch it. One of them being that Trevor, one of the main guys, is wonderfully hot! And so is Zach...


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Mice

My house is being overrun by mice. And its not even the cute, little mice. Its big, fat, ugly mice! Annabell, my very over weight cat, is having a ball chasing them. This is the only exercise she's had in, what, five years! When I woke up today I walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water and take some pills to stop my nose from running. What did I find, you ask? On my floor was the head of a mouse. Just the head, mind you. Oh, and the tail. Annabell spit out the tail. "I only want the meat" my mother said in her funny voice she uses for my cat. After I found that horrible mouse head I went to check my email and I heard a noise that sounded like glass breaking. She had caught another mouse and was running around the house with it in her mouth. Later that day I went into the bathroom to change and to brush my hair. A big, nasty mouse come out from behind the toilet so I ran to get Annabell. When I tossed her into the bathroom and shut the door, all she did was whine and scratch like I was killing her. I finally got so mad at her that I kind of threw her out into the living room. I screamed at her and popped her on the butt. She hissed at me and I guess I was letting off some of my anger cause I threw a piece of paper at her. She ran off meowing. I calmed down and got the mail. In it was a letter for me....from the Humane Society....funny how things work, huh

What The Hell Wednesday

I find that as a person so ingrossed in the internet and television that I often come across things that don't make any sence to me and boggle my mind. Like why Japanese culture is so obsessed with the act of going to the bathroom. So I figured, since I'm such a giving person, I'd share the crazy things I come across each week. ENJOY!

Why in gods name is there a toy called 'Cock Blocks'?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? And no, this isn't a sex toy or anything like that. This is a toy for LITTLE KIDS! Not that it being a sex toy would make the name any better. Yes, I'll agree that blocks are fun, but why the hell did they name it flipping COCK BLOCKS?! GOOD GOD!

The Darkness In My Mind

A while back a family member of mine tried to kill themselves. I haven't really talked about it since it happened, but tonight I feel like I should. I've always been a very depressed person. I spent nights in my room crying myself to sleep for no reason that I understood. Those who are close to me can name at least one time that I've been so lost in the darkness that is my mind that I have threatened to kill myself. I've had friends that have stopped talking to me because I get so upset sometimes and I'e had friends that told me to "go ahead and do it, not one cares about you anyway!" The main thing that kept me from doing it was my mother. I love her so much that my heart aches when I think about how badly it would hurt her. The rest of my family never acured to me. At times I thought they would all be better off. It hit me that my sister care a few months back when she thought I had been kidnapped or something and she yelled at me for about an hour. But sitting in my bed, listening to my sister explain to me what had happened that horribly tragic day and begging me to never kill myself...I felt a pain that I never want to put on someone. Although I didn't cry that day. I think the tears were unable to release themselves from my eyes. I think my mind had not fully understood...or maybe I understood it all too well. I understood that even though this horrible thing happened, it had made me see how badly I need to take control of my life, and stop these horrible thoughts. And you know what? I haven't had a thought like that since!