High School

Ok, so yesterday was the PCO Beach Bash. It started at 6:30 and since Will's mom works in Edmond, he didn't have a ride back to school. He was just going to stay at school til the party. I told him that was stupid so my mom let him come hang out at my house til 6:30. We just sat aroung watching Cosby and playing on the computer. When my parents drove us to the school, we were early cause I got the times messed up. I hugged my mom and then Will hugged my dad and said "Bye Daddy." As we walked to the school we were both laughing. It was so fun. The principles got on the roof during 'YMCA' and danced around. It was really funny. And before that, the DJ played 'Thriller' and the main principle jumped over a teachers shoulders! Will proposed to Elieana, Brooke, and some other girl. I almost got to marry them but everyone kepted running away. Carlin, a boy I've known since 6th, was dancing around and being goofy. When the DJ played 'I Feel Like a Woman' Carlin sung the whole thing and at the end he put his hands on his hips and sung "Man, I feel like a woman" and stuck his lips out. And everyone kepted asking if Will and I were going out. I guess you can't hang out unless your dating. GOD! But, I think I'm the only one who isn't ofended! Will's been being a real jerk lately. He says things and doesn't think about how mean they are. He's been hurting a lot of people's feelings without knowing it. Oh, and this junior in my last class has been picking on me so he ruins my whole day. When I told Will he freaked out and said "You want my to kick his ass?" I didn't know his name and he said "Well that helps. Find it out!" It's good to know he cares. Things are getting hard for me, though. Everyday it gets harder and harder to talk to him without blurting out "I love you!" It's also getting harder not seeing him every weekend. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?!? And he obviously doesn't feel the same way cause he doesn't even call me anymore. How I hate feeling sick everyday. I feel like I'm the only one who knows what they want, but it too afraid to try and get it. *Sigh* Oh, my friend showed me some songs from a cool play called Avenue Q last year. Now I'm addicted to it. Here, go to this site to read all about it. It even has some clips from the show. http://www.avenueq.com I love you all.

Forever I walk alone.

Scary Dream

Ok, no I've had dreams that seem very real and I've had dreams that I knew were fake, but Late night I had a dream that my mind said was fake and my gut said was real. Now that I'm fully awake, It's a sure thing that it was fake...But I still have a weird feeling. Ok, so what happen? Here we go:

I'm not sure how the dream started but I think a blonde friend of mine, (I have no idea who it was, cause it didn't look like Brooke or Shilo) my brother, Jeff, and I were in some sort of cabin (I have no idea why.) Well, some guy with an axe was trying to break the door down. Jeff was trying to stop him cause this guy was going to kill the blonde girl and me. The guy swung the axe through the doors window and my brother stopped it...with his hand. It didn't cut it off but it split it open. Then next thing I saw in my dream was dirt. Yes, dirt being dumped on something and then a big, wooden cross. Then my whole family when looking for me. They were in a big field of big, wooden crosses. Suddenly, I walk out from a near by cross. Jeff is there, too, and he ask me "Do you remeber what happened?" I look around for a minute and then I just start hitting him over and over. Then he explains something to me. I have no idea what he said but I just started crying and I hugged him. When I woke up Something inside me said "He couldn't save you both. He chose you." Now I feel like I need to hug my brother really bad.

Your good is better, Your betters blessed.

CD Madness!!!

Yea, my b-day party is coming!!!!!!!!! Only a few more days!!! Ok, lets start off with some music:

This song is very sad! I keep listening to it over and over. It makes me cry. It's from a play called 'My Favorite Year'. Tim curry is the one who sings it. It's called 'If the World were like the Movies':

Strange as it may seem
Movie stars are human
Relatively human
After all

And it’s hard living up
To an image on a screen
That is forty or fifty feet tall

If the world were like the movies
We would never make mistakes
We’d correct our little blunders
And select our better takes

And the person that we should be
Would be all the public sees
For if life should go off track
We could simply fade to black
If the world were like the movies

Think if marriages were movies
How our lives would be improved
Love preserved on film forever
All the battle scenes removed

We’d have only happy endings
We could edit as we please
Cut to smiling man and wife
With a baby and a life
If the world were like the movies

And the child would have a father
Who was always there
Playing games
And flying homemade kites

Cheering at her high school play
Tucking her in bed on stormy night
Never absent, never cruel
Not a drunk, not a fool

A father who could give his daughter
Blue lights, pink lights
Just like the movies

If the world were like the movies
I’d know how to play the part
I’d be there when I was needed
And I’d never break her heart

She would never see me stumble
And I’d never let her down
I’d be sober, wise, and humble
The defender of the crown

Well, thank god
She had my movies to see
She is better off with movies
Than me


*Sob* I'm ok. Ok, this song if from a very cool movie called Empire Records. It' called 'This is the Day' by 'The The':

Well... you didn't wake up this morning,
'cause you didn't go to bed.
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red!

The calendar on your wall -- IS TICKING -- the days off.

You've been reading some old letters.
You smile and think how much you've changed.All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days.

You pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes.
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.
THIS IS THE DAY -- Your life will surely change.
THIS IS THE DAY -- When things fall into place.

You could've done anything, if you'd wanted.
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky.
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together like -- GLUE

You pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes.
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.
THIS IS THE DAY -- Your life will surely change.
THIS IS THE DAY -- When things fall into place.

THIS IS THE DAY -- Your life will surely change.
(repeat to fade)


Man, everyone wants me to make them a cd. With all the cds I make, I could be rich. You know, if I charged. Being nice sucks!!! Oh, and yea, Pascha, I'm making your cd. And yes, I made Sams first. At least I know what music she likes. I geuss I'll make everyone a cd. Well, I need to go. Love Ya, Buy$$$