My Top 5 Songs That Describe Me

I've noticed that as much as I love music, I tend to listen to and remember the songs that describe me or my life. Her are my top 5 "Me" songs:

5. Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me

I know all the words to this song. All of the words describe how I feel but the line "when I'm in the shower I'm afraid to wash my hair cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing there" has always been "my line". I was my hair with my eyes wide open.

4. Lily Allen - The Fear

I do want to be rich and famous. But don't worry. I won't really take my clothes off. ;)

3. College Humor - Awkward Rap

I do almost everything that they say in this song. Kinda sad on my end.

2. College Humor - One Week Parody

I know its stupid but this song totally makes sense to me. I can never get that song out of my head.

1. The Coral - Dreaming of You

This song has described how I've felt for almost my whole life. Crazy

No Air

Scott and Caitlin at their best. It may be a bit off but it still looks amazing.

My 5 Current Favorite Songs

I seem to go through favorites like a kid goes through a bag of candy. I'm always trying to find new music but I tend to like the stuff that no one has ever heard of before. And when I find something I like I listen to it over and over again for about three weeks. Maybe thats why I'm always looking for something new. Anyway, here are my top five songs for this month. They will probably change soon.

PS - Most of these songs either have cussing or are a bit dirty, so, just be careful.

5) I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic At The Disco


4) The Heist by Incredibad


3) The Pretender by Foo Fighters


2) Get Like Me by Childish Gambino


1) Ka-Blamo by Incredibad/Lonely Island



Ka-Blamo video. It's the best. My love is in it

Fading

I’m scared. I’m so unsure what I’m supposed to be doing right now. People keep telling me that I’m young and there for I don’t need to worry about the rest of my life, but I can’t stop. If I’m so young, why do I feel like my time is running out? Why do I feel like if I don’t make a decision, I’m going to end up living a life I never wanted? I’m so worried that I’ll never get to do the things I always wanted to do. I’m scared I’ll never go to college, or become an actress or a writer. I’m scared I’ll never fall in love and get married. I’m scared I’ll never get to have the children I always wanted. I’m scared I’ll never make a difference. I’m scared I’m fading away.

I try to act like I’m fine. I try to act like I’m feeling better. But the truth is I go to bed most nights crying just to wake up the next day to do the same thing all over again. I’m hurting inside and no one can see. I feel so worthless. I feel like no one really needs me. I drown myself in my school work and my books just so I don’t have to think about how much my heart aches. I stay in my room all day silently hoping that God would show me a sign that I’m not just a waste of space. Although it’s hard to hear him talk to me with all the yelling from the hall.

I think I just need a friend. Someone to talk to; someone who cares. I feel like I never see my mother anymore and my siblings don’t have time. The only friends I had left either don’t understand or simply ignore me. I just feel so alone. I’ve written so much in the past few weeks, but most of it was just me rambling. I hadn’t actually cried full heartedly and understood the reason in a long time until now. It’s been all bottled up inside of me and now my shirt is wet and my cheeks are hot. It hurts but at the same time I needed it. I just wish this was the end of it.

Unbelievable Dinner

Unbelievable Dinner

Lost in the Sea

I'm lost in a sea of confusion. I'm not sure if I should follow the waves or try to paddle back to shore. It feels like each wind is pulling me one way, each one becoming stronger by the minute. My body feels like its going to rip in half if I don't choose. But what if I choose the wrong one? I'll drown in failure and depression. I can already feel the waves crashing above my head. Once I slip under there will be no turning back. I'll be lost forever in the depths of this black sea we call life. So what can I do? I'll just have to hold on to my ores and pray to god there's not a hole in my boat.

I made this last night